If you're tired of writing reports for your supervisors, perhaps you should take a cue from Ruth A. Dennis, historical branch librarian at the Green Lake Branch of the Seattle Public Library. Dennis's reports were often literary, and always filled with a wry humor. For the quarter ending June 30, 1928, Ruth begins by quoting the biblical book, Lamentations, and follows on in tone from there:

To the Superintendent of Branches:

"The ways of Zion do mourn, because none come to the solemn feasts; all her gates are desolate: her priests sigh, her virgins are afflicted, and she is in bitterness.

Her adversaries are the chief, her enemies prosper, ... her children are gone into captivity before the enemy" (Lamentations).

Yea, verily, the ways of Greenwood-Phinney do afflict us! But unlike Zion, Green Lake has not sinned; so is punished unjustly. Our enemy has caused, during the past two moons, a loss of 1280 in our junior circulation and sore are our hearts against them.

More information about Ruth (and her lamentations) can be found at HistoryLink.org: The Free Online Encyclopedia of Washington State History.